One of the biggest debates between my sisters and me was which one of us was my father’s favorite child. The week before he died, he called all three of us into his hospital room and decided to end the debate once and for all. He told us the order of his most to least favorite child.
Most parents will say that they love all of their children equally. That does not mean that you favor your children equally. There are valid reasons to favor one child over another. A child may have a special need that requires more attention. Some favor their first born or their last born. Some favor a daughter over a son or vice versa. Some children are more independent and some more needy. Every child is different.
The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a perpetual virgin. She did not have any other children other than Jesus. We believe this because she stood at the foot of the cross with only friends and relatives. The last thing Jesus did upon the cross was to entrust the care of his mother to his beloved disciple. If Mary had any other children this not only would have not been necessary but it would have been scandalous for Jesus to do. Jesus fulfilled the command to honor thy mother and father and would have not violated Jewish custom by entrusting his mother to Saint John had he had any siblings or step-siblings.
Mary’s perpetual virginity was a gift to her. It allowed her to dedicate her life and her love solely to Jesus. Imagine the jealousy that being the brother or sister of Jesus would have caused. Mom loves you best because you’re God. Of course you’re mom’s favorite!
But this doesn’t only apply to Mary. It causes issues for Joeseph as well.
There is a (t)radition in the Eastern Church that Joseph was an older man and a widow. The thought is that he had children with his first wife. This is a belief that the Western Church does not hold. Personally, I believe we can use the same logic we use to say that Mary had no other children with Joseph as well.
The infancy narrative in the gospel of Luke tells us that Joseph had to go back to his ancestorial home of Bethlehem to be counted in a mandatory census. He traveled there with Mary when she was ready to give birth. If Joseph had any other children, they too would have had to go to Bethlehem to be counted in the mandatory census. If this is true then one of two things would have happened. The first is that Joseph and Mary would have stayed with Joseph’s other children. But this wasn’t the case. They tried to find room at an inn. If Joseph had other children and they had no place to stay they would have stayed in the stable with Joseph and Mary. The gospel does not say that either of these things happened.
In fact, no gospel ever mentions Joseph having other children in any story of the infant Jesus. They were not mentioned when Joseph, Mary, and Jesus had to flee to Egypt. They were not mentioned when Jesus was presented in the temple. They weren’t mentioned when Jesus was lost and then found in the temple at the age of twelve. Joseph and Mary’s only concern was finding him. There is no mention of other children until late into Jesus’ public ministry when scripture talks about the brethren of the Lord. Protestants, who want to believe that Mary was just a normal person with a normal life and a normal marriage, read this out of context to support their desire that Jesus had brothers and sisters. If Mary was just another schmuck like the rest of us there would be no reason to pay her the honor she deserves.
Now imagine being Joseph and having other children, either with a first wife or with Mary. He would have been just the foster father of Jesus while being the actual father to other children. It would have made it very difficult not to favor those children that came first or biological children that came after. This would be especially true if Mary dedicated herself to Jesus and the other kids relied more upon their father. Joseph was not created immaculately and was subject to the same concupiscence we all are. Having only one child, a child that God asked him to care for as his very own, would have been just as much a gift to Joseph as he was for Mary.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. Mary so loved God that she did the same thing. She gave her only son for the salvation and redemption of the world.