There is a phenomenon for amputees where they experience phantom pain. Even though they no longer have the limb or body part that was injured or removed, they experience sensations as if they were still there. In today’s first reading, we are reminded that although we have been freed from sin by virtue of our Baptism, we have in a way a spiritual phantom pain. God’s grace has given us the freedom not to do whatever we want, but rather what we ought to do. Sin is not just some cultural construct dictated by the ‘patriarchy’ to help control people, but a glimpse into the real. Sin not only harms us, our soul and injures God, but it’s never a private matter. It always has repercussions that extend out into the body of Christ, into our families, our community, and society in general. One only has to look at the state of the world today as a result of the contraceptive mentality and the culture of death to see that sin abounds, wounds, and spreads.
It’s easy to become discouraged. With everything seemingly “going to hell in a handbasket,” the phrase that God’s grace abounds all the more can often seem like a platitude with little meaning. Going forward in our lives, we have to realize that we are going to have to be obedient to someone, to something. We can either be obedient to those things which build-up, which give love, or we will instead be obedient to those things which tear down or simply maintain the status quo. In a world where the status quo is often oppression, repression, fear, and solitude; the communion of the Saints needs to be expressed all the more in our daily lives. Then the Gospel though reminds us that as Catholics, who believe we have the fullest revelation of God, we are even more responsible for living out our faith. “To much is given, much is expected.” As a man who the Church plans to ordain to the permanent diaconate, every time I fall or fail I am painfully aware of that maxim. “Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.” Today’s Gospel is in a way a painful reminder that after ordination it won’t be easier, more responsibility will be to come.
Jesus says we are to be faithful stewards, tasked with giving out the proper food at the allotted time. As part of the common priesthood of all believers, we are tasked with extending God’s grace to each and every person out there. That also means that when we realize we have failed to do just that, we need to get to the Sacraments. Reconciliation is the way we Catholics reach out to God with hope. I am often disappointed with myself when I find myself yet again confessing the same old sin. While I truly go in intending never to commit that sin again, firmly intending to avoid even the near occasion of sin, I find myself on my knees in the confessional expressing true sorrow for not living up to the life God has created me to live. That’s when I have to remind myself that the confessional is not a place of failure, but a place of victory. The very fact that I am still struggling with sin, and not simply giving in and pretending it’s a part of who I am, means I am not a failure but a success. Satan is the one who accuses you and makes you feel that you should hide from God in the garden. God is the one who instead calls you back to His arms and gives you the grace to do better.
That’s our hope. That at the end of our lives when the master returns to demand an accounting for our use of the gifts, talents, and graces He has given us, we know that through the Sacraments we have received that very promise from Jesus Himself to the Apostles: “Whose sins you have forgiven are forgiven.” If we truly understood the amount of grace that flows to us in confession, we’d tremble with excitement while waiting in line instead of fear. With hope instead of shame.
A reflection on the readings for October 23rd, 2019: Wednesday of the 29th Week in Ordinary Time.