When I first started going to Saint Catherine of Genoa, there was a man and woman who embodied what Christ teaches us about marriage. We are supposed to submit ourselves one to another. That’s what the second reading for tomorrow’s Mass says. Husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the Church, willing to give himself for her. That is the kind of love that Gary and Gail expressed in every interaction. The smiles, the laughter, the joy. They opened their home to us, joined us in Bible studies, and Gail was always there cooking for us as we worked to repair the building. They made us feel like part of the family. Eventually, they moved away to be closer to their children, grandkids, and brothers and sisters.
Today was hard. Today we drove up to see Gary, to attend the funeral of Gail. Words cannot express how difficult it is for a family when they lose someone so powerful at knitting their lives together, someone, with such a great faith that everyone knows about it. She was a shining light that brought us all closer to God and showed us the true meaning of unconditional love. At the funeral, the reading was one I am very familiar with, one that begs the question of “why?” Why does God allow us to lose those people who are beacons of hope, pillars of love in the community?
A reading from the holy Gospel according to John 11:17–27On arriving at Bethany, Jesus found that Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days already. Bethany is only about two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to sympathise with them over their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus had come she went to meet him. Mary remained sitting in the house.
Martha said to Jesus, ‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died, but I know that, even now, whatever you ask of God, he will grant you’.
‘Your brother,’ said Jesus to her, ‘will rise again.’
Martha said, ‘I know he will rise again at the resurrection on the last day’.
Jesus said: ‘I am the resurrection and the life. If anyone believes in me, even though he dies he will live, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ she said, ‘I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was to come into this world.’
It is difficult to lose someone you love. It’s hard to find the right words to say. Martha in the gospel speaks the words that burn in our hearts. Where were you? If you were here, my brother would not have died. More than three days had already passed. The tomb had already been sealed. Where was hope? Then with just two words, Martha gives us the answer. “Even now.” Even though the world might have given up, even when her heart burned with anguish and despair, even then she trusted that God would provide. She did not tell him what to do. She doesn’t beg or plead. She just trusts with her entire mind, heart, and soul that the love of God can conquer even death.
That is the hope that we are offered. That is the faith that Gail tried to teach each of us in her words and her actions. When we look at the world through the lens of faith in Jesus Christ, we can say with Martha “even now.” “Do you believe this?” The words of Jesus echo into the darkness of our grief and ask us to believe. They ask us to trust he loves us and he loved Gail. So we pray for her today, asking God to receive her into his arms and ask that she receive a home with him in eternity. To anchor in our hearts the beautiful words of Wisdom: “those who trust in him … shall abide with him in love.” This is the truth of the Catholic faith. This is what it means to believe in the communion of Saints. Today Gail understands better than we the difficulties of this life, and the grace needed to live a life of faith. We also believe that she can hear us and is very much alive. The most powerful way we can say we love her is to pray for her. So take some time today to do so, to also say your goodbyes, to tell her that you love her, and to speak any words that you did not have the time to share with her.
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Gails Obituary can be found here. If those of us living out the Sacrament of Marriage lived it out half as well as Gary and Gail, the world would be changed overnight.