“But who do you say that I am?” Maybe one of the most poignant questions ever asked. Jesus is standing amongst his disciples, men who look up to him, and that he even calls friends. They have just given testimony to all the things that those who are outside of his circle, call Jesus. He wants to know what they have to say, though. Before I get to Peter’s answer, I want to talk about my own experience with this. I recently posted on Facebook about how my daughter and I had a conversation that went something like this:
My daughter asked if we were friends.
I said, no. I am your parent.
She looked sad. I asked if that was the answer she had hoped for?
She said no, she was hoping we were friends.
I then asked why she would want a lesser relationship than the one we have. We aren’t just friends, we are so much more. We are family. You are my daughter. I dont just call anyone that.
I think some people missed my point in that conversation, and I hope she isn’t one of those. My point is not that we don’t have some of the characteristics of friends. The thing is the word friend doesn’t carry the entirety of the story. She is my daughter; I am her father. My kids can call me dad. That’s a title only they get. Growing up, we had a group called “Uncle Hank and Aunt Joyce” who went around to the schools teaching through visual art. They were beautiful people. Their stories animated, their chalk art lovely. I wasn’t allowed to call them Uncle and Aunt. Not because they weren’t good people, but because those titles we reserve for family. There was no animosity there, my family just instilled into my heart the notion that those names meant something specific.
Back to dad. When I hear someone talk about a good dad, it reminds me of how important that title is. Not just because it speaks of a family bond, but because it also reminds us that we fathers are supposed to emulate God, the Father. Loving unconditionally, while also educating, chastising when necessary, and helping our children become the best version of themselves they can be. We are to be more like the Father of the Prodigal Son, than the absentee workaholic of the movies. Loving, cherishing our children, and yes, being willing to die for them. Sharing a title with the God of the Universe should not be taken lightly. We are too casual about it these days, precisely because we don’t take titles or names seriously anymore. “Anyone is family if I choose them.” That has some merit to it, right? Stepdads like me get brought into a family, that while not biologically their own, becomes just as much a part of their heart as if they had been.
That doesn’t free up the biological dad from having to step in and be the man he was supposed to be. So when I tell my daughter we are not friends in the sense of just friends, I mean you mean more to me than just a friend. You are someone I cherish. I pray for, I wake up and get out of bed for even when I don’t want to in order to make sure you have what you need. I’ll drive through the night to take you somewhere, just because you are more comfortable there. I’ll come to change a battery in the rain and try to help you when I can. I won’t always be perfect. That doesn’t mean I won’t do the best I can with what little I do have.
That’s because, like Peter’s confession, the name has a ton of meaning to it. He calls Jesus the Christ, the Messiah. The promised King to come and free them from their chains, from their shackles. So we too need to be speaking of Jesus. We fathers need to be telling people (especially our kids) who Jesus is. To do that requires that we have a relationship with Him. The statistics show it, men. Kids are more likely to have the same attitude towards God as the dad, even if the mom is 100% devout. If Dad doesn’t treat Mass seriously? Neither will they. If he doesn’t go to church often? Neither will they. Remember, it is indeed a personal relationship with God, but not just. It’s also a relationship with His Church, the Body. Jesus said Peter’s confession came from the Holy Spirit, so that’s an excellent place to start. Invite the Holy Spirit into your heart. Cement your relationship with the community that is the Body of Christ through frequent Confession and Mass. Put God in your schedule first, because He is the air our soul breathes. Then put in the rest of it.
This mornings office of readings had a beautiful reflection from St. Ambrose that I think shows what this will look like when we actually put God first when we begin to speak to our kids and friends about Jesus:
It is also written: Open your lips, and let God’s word be heard. God’s word is uttered by those who repeat Christ’s teaching and meditate on his sayings. Let us always speak this word. When we speak about wisdom, we are speaking of Christ. When we speak about justice, we are speaking of Christ. When we speak about peace, we are speaking of Christ. When we speak about truth and life and redemption, we are speaking of Christ.
Open your lips, says Scripture, and let God’s word be heard. It is for you to open, it is for him to be heard.
So today, open your lips and allow the words, thoughts, and deeds you perform to show to others Jesus Christ living inside of you. You may have many titles: dad, mom, brother, sister, friend, coworker, and so forth. Make sure that every one of them could be described as Jesus and mean the same thing.